We get a lot done in our pajamas
April 2023 | Interview with yours truly, Abbie Drake Williams
Quick Stats
Introvert or Extrovert
51% introvert, 49% extrovert according to a test
Current State
Block but trying to find some flow
Maker of …
Graphic design, photography, and this thing called Ruedemaker
The Interview
How are you in this moment? Choose three words to describe yourself.
I am anxious, calm and yearning for change.
Describe your journey so far as a maker.
I knew I wanted to do something creative from a young age. I loved making stuff as a kid - drawing, sketching fashion, painting etc. and I’ve always been fascinated with art and how people think. I’m always curious to learn how people see & respond to experiences in their own life and how they create a life for themselves.
When I found design, it made sense. I went to design school knowing that’s what I wanted to do. I created a map of my courses and followed it (being the good student that I am). Little did I know I would find this inner confidence and a language I could understand. It was a challenge and a whole new way of thinking but I loved it. I loved the aesthetic piece, making stuff with my hands, seeing how my classmates saw the same assignment differently. I’d found the reason why good things exist. I’d found the missing link between idea and result.
But here I am, 7 years into my career and I’m still trying to figure out my own perspective.
I’ve been on this hunt for as long as I can remember. Why am I struggling to find my voice? I know that I’m easily influenced by any other voice or mood in a room. I’ve always been the dutiful one, the good student and mostly a good listener. But this duty and empathy can be a barrier to true collaboration if I’m not careful. As I’m ideating, the moment that I think about someone else’s opinion and approach, I freeze. I get stuck comparing.
I’ve spent so much of my life listening and communicating how other people think that design soon became my identity. My work became my identity. As I’ve told stories through design for others, I’ve lost my own sense of self in my work. At certain points, I’ve asked myself, “If I’m just doing what someone says and turn it into a graphic, does that make me a designer?”
I’ve realized that I need moments on my own to develop my perspective or gather ideas. I know it’s important to find inspiration but I also believe there is a time to absorb and a time to create. It can be chaotic to do them simultaneously. People need to space to search, and moments to share with purpose. We all need to be heard.
As I reflect, maybe it’s not that I lost my voice but that I’m afraid to commit to it. (How’s that for a “committed” statement). I’m the first to admit that I’m afraid to be wrong, I’m afraid to freeze up, and I am without a doubt, a crier. But I have to remind myself that it’s all a part of the process. It’s who I am. And it’s these fears that have pushed me to create Ruedemaker.
As I talk to friends and share stories, hardships, and frustrations, it relieves this pressure because nobody ‘has it all figured out.’ As I’ve gotten older, I’m finding that there’s beauty in attempting to solve life’s evolving puzzle.
When it comes to making, what are you doing now?
On this journey to ‘re-find’ my voice, I signed up for The Brand Imagery Academy by clarinj.com. She was our wedding photographer and since then has shared her own creative evolution away from weddings and into brand photography. I was incredibly inspired by her honesty and it’s compelled me to be just as honest with myself. It feels good to do it just for me.
On the hunt to find my voice, I’ve felt incredibly connected to my creative work a few times. It’s an incredible feeling and I’ve been trying to find out why it felt that good. I’ve found it in some of my professional work but more recently, I’ve found fleeting moments of that honest connection to something I’ve made for myself with my own two hands.
One that will always stick with me are a series of paintings I did right around my grandma’s passing. She is the one that inspired me to be creative. She made wedding dresses, painted, did calligraphy and photography. It was her that inspired me to pick up the camera and pursue a creative career. In those sad days, as I painted to pass the time, I was processing her influence on me. It was incredibly emotional and from it came something beautiful to remember her by.
More recently, I’m proud of a painting that is actually 3 failed pieces underneath a piece that I’ve never been more proud of. This square canvas has been at my parents house since highschool. Then a couple years ago, I tried a technique that I’d done on wood before, but it just didn’t feel the same. I covered it with a black and white abstraction but it felt like something stock you’d buy at a big chain - it wasn’t saying anything. But the final push was this moment of clarity as I’d been pondering what to do with it for months.
One morning, I could see the abstraction of what I wanted and what it meant to me. I found this state of flow and non-judgement in myself (the second part there was key). I wasn’t second-guessing, I knew I had the chops to make what I saw and I was being honest with myself. I listened to a Design Matters with Debbie Millman episode and found this mindset that was just me being me. It was so therapeutic.
I’ve only done a few of these paintings for leisure. It’s something fairly new for me creatively. But it’s helping me find my voice within. I need that voice as a creative so that I can bring my best self into my professional work. (But even there I cringe at the ‘needing to feel productive.’ Maybe it’s not a bad thing to be rooted in my ambition?)
What do you fear? What holds you back? What cycle do you get lost in?
I fear failure, disappointing people, and judgement. The curiosity about how other people live their lives is a double edged sword. I get lost in the comparison and I’m a bit competitive. I get blinded by how other people have “done it” or are “doing it” and it can hold me back at times. That comparison teeters between motivating and debilitating. It’s the cycle I have to work hard to get out of at times. But my fears, those cycles, they don’t last forever. Nothing does I guess - the good or the not so good.
How do you shift your perspective?
Lately, I’ve been taking long walks through a local park listening to the Design Matters podcast. Getting outside and learning all at once (I guess I like to multi-task). I also love the prompts in the Moonlist journals.
I also try to remember what makes me happy. And usually its the simple things. As a kid, I’d spend the summers at our family cabin. Those days at the lake are some of my favorite memories and to this day is my favorite escape.
It’s where the phrase, “we get a lot done in our pajamas” was first coined. Sometimes, ‘getting ready’ isn’t necessary. Sitting on the couch and drinking coffee can be the clearest of moments. It’s okay to ‘just be.’
Childhood at the lake (we probably just changed out of our pajamas).
When did you last learn something new?
Just last week. No matter how much you and a client might love something, 180ºs will happen… as frustrating as it might be - know when to roll with it.
Also, that Nick Offerman went to school for “serious” theater and scoffed at comedians for a good while before (his analogy), “getting his head out of his own ass.”
What inspires you lately?
It’s Nice That is full of good inspo.
Kinfolk always.
Monocle too.
Other people sharing honestly.
And if you were wondering, yes, the finalization of this self-directed interview was in fact done while wearing pajamas.